This is a film about a badass man with a bitch-ass daughter and an annoying ex-wife who is married to a man so comical and uncool that the only logical conclusion is their partnership must have been a joke that went too far.
Liam Neeson is a very capable chap and little seems to go wrong in the finding and saving of his doped-up, dressed-down, debutant sex-slave daughter. That’s basically all the plot there is.
Now that’s over with let us discuss some niggling issues:
WHY does his daughter run everywhere? Seriously, watch it again, it’s really weird. She literally runs in every scene, what a whore she would have made! Packing more energy than the energizer bunny.
WHY are Lenore and Stuart such pricks when Liam returns his daughter relatively unharmed? Basically ignored him. Didn’t even offer a lift! Nightmare.
HOW determined can one fat man be to have sex with his purchase? So many died…
But more importantly, WHAT is it about Liam Neeson?
Seriously, I don’t get it. I don’t understand why he’s attractive. Whilst watching with several ladies I felt a palpable swoon with every action-packed scene as he fought relentlessly for his daughter’s freedom. But let’s get one thing straight – Liam Neeson is a fairly ugly man. NOT IN GENERAL… But for a Hollywood action hero he ain’t that great. Let me briefly talk you through why he does not compare in any category of Hollywood hotness.
Liam
Standard attractive
Old attractive
Rugged attractive
‘Sum of parts’ attractive (i.e. weird features but still attractive)
I hope you can see that Liam Neeson does not fit in with the Hollywood elite. He’s a bit too weedy to be rugged, a bit too frail looking to be old attractive, his beady tired eyes stop him from being traditionally attractive and his features don’t add up to a pretty mug.
Now here is why I’m weirded out that people think Liam Neeson is attractive.
He’s such a fatherly character! He’s world’s greatest Dad, not world’s greatest lover. Granted he does a lot of cool stuff, but it’s all in the name of protecting his simple daughter; not a femme fatale or plodding, lovable wife. The way the ladies in the room melted for him was enough to give me shivers. And it got me thinking, he’s a father-figure in most of his films (that I’ve seen)!
Star Wars – Father figure
Love Actually – Father figure
Batman – Father figure
A-Team – Father figure
So please, if you find Liam Neeson attractive then stay away from me. Particularly if you’re my child.
psychopolemic 